Fun with red light cameras

Do I take the free right turn? Do I take the complete stop? Do I ignore the person honking behind me? Can I California roll it? Full Washington stop? All of the paranoia as it’s always watching you judging you. Just keep smiling and waving back. I personally love red light cameras. Every time I…

The childhood fear you probably never had.

Most kids have normal fears. Clowns. Bees. People in full body animal costumes. But even when my dad would hide in my closet to try and scare me when I went to bed, it wasn’t my truest fear. No, mine was unique and…perpetuated by my whole family. My dad describes it this way, “We would…

How to achieve total Unagi in traffic

I’ve driven the I-5 stretch between Tacoma and Federal Way over 5,000 times. I’ve learned a lot of things I wish I didn’t know. Things I wish went into more useful skills. Like how how to threaten Xfinity with quitting so that they’ll give me a lower rate. What is this that I have achieved?…

I was rejected by Starbucks, for good reason

I showed up to the Starbucks dressed in my suit, newspaper in hand, and ready to start job hunting. Backed by a fresh college diploma, I thought I could get something. The barista commented on my outfit, and we talked briefly about my plans. “Good luck on your job search,” she said to me. Three…

TOP 10 WORST CHRISTMAS GIFTS EVER

I asked the Internet, “What’s the worst Christmas gift you’ve ever received?” and then sat back and waited for the responses to roll in. The following are all 100% real, though some names have been withheld to protect the innocent. (The best was from my friend Amanda Sherman, but it was too ridiculous to print…

Noncommittal take outs: a worst first date story

Worst first dates end up being the best stories you share with your last date (your spouse). It’s like telling personal injury stories where everyone tries to out gross each other with tales of botched emergency room visits. My worst was in college. I was a freshmen at Westmont, a small school where you couldn’t…

CONFESSIONS OF A DUMB HUSBAND

In honor of my wife’s upcoming birthday, I thought I’d recount the worst gift I ever gave her. This way you can feel good about yourself and my dirty laundry can air out a bit. You can also see this article published over at Gig Harbor Life.  First off, let’s start with a face and…

7 rules about why Young Adult fiction rules

So I’m a grown man who loves YA and I’m not ashamed. My dad had never heard the term YA (pronounced like your kindergarten teacher taught you to read, WHY-AY). After I explained to him that it was shorthand for “Young Adult Fiction,” he told me, “Your English profs at Westmont are probably thinking about retro-actively…

Top 10 first date fails: Hers was with a fugitive

We’ve all had bad first dates. And then there are these folks. All stories are real and so good I’m going to get out of the way and let them do the talking: She wanted a man. Not a wanted man. “I was 21 when the 35[ish] George Costanza lookalike showed up at my doorstep…