“I’m so excited for Fantasy Football!” — said no one’s wife, ever. 

“I’m so excited for Fantasy Football!” — said no one’s wife, ever. 

Case in point, I drafted the giantly talented Chicago Bears wide receiver Alshon Jeffery (who is also a giant at six-three and two-sixteen) and my name is Shaun and well, there you go. Like King Joffrey with +10 to handsome.

Puns may be cheap, but Fantasy Football puns are priceless. I can’t even share my favorite ones here, because I will get in trouble so just ask next time you see me. Last year I was “Yes Shaun Moreno” because I drafted the amazing Knowshon Moreno. Other years have not been as good, which such lackluster outings as Jamaal Me Maybe, Yoko Romo, What Would-Jones-Drew, Harbaugh’s Handshake, and others. My wife thinks I am funny in general, but does not think this is very funny.

I think too many people just Google the top fantasy football names and it gets a little lazy. But give your hated team a hated mascot, aka King Joffrey from Game of Thrones, and you may incite your opponent to overthink their lineup and therefore lose.

Also, it helps to be friends with graphic designers. But it’s all fun and games until they turn on you and put your face on lady gaga’s body, creating lady cha-cha, which is just gross.




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